Hello there !
How are you doing ?
I hesitated for quite a while before sending an email about the current situation… because I personally feel overwhelmed by the amount of information (and fake news !) which we are all receiving at the moment. But in the end, here it is ! You obviously can decide whether or not you want to read it.
What I have seen so far is that some people are actually feeling quite fine with what is happening worldwide, others are going through a mix of emotions, and others have entered into a rollercoaster of anxiety, panic, sadness etc, and don’t seem to be able to get out of it.
Let’s be clear. In my opinion, some people have been preparing for this for a few months, even a few years already. Of course they didn’t know exactly what was going to happen, but they have done some work on themselves, they know themselves, their wounds, their weaknesses and their strengths. It does not mean that they are not surfing the waves of emotions but maybe they are able to welcome them and trust the experience.
For others, it might be quite a shock! Like for every accident, serious illness, loss, crisis, burnout, etc. they don’t know how to deal with it, react, behave, and handle what’s happening.
What I would like to tell you is this : it’s not the end, for anyone. Every crisis is an invitation to “transform”… it doesn’t need to be some radical or amazing change, it can be a small realisation, a small step, some help to make a decision, etc.
This crisis is a collective one, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t make choices individually. Yes we are limited in terms of physical space but not with our mind, body and energy !
We always have a choice, even when we are not conscious of it. We can choose to keep ourselves busy, to play the victim, to have fun, to learn, to stop, to enjoy, to process, to become very creative, to panic, to cry, to laugh, to sing, not to do anything, to think, to be inspired and inspiring, to get frustrated, to scream, to look at ourselves and the world, to listen, to question ourselves, to be hopeful, to be ok with not knowing, to become more conscious, to wish for the best, to imagine the worst, etc.
We are allowed and it’s totally okay to go through these different phases… What we need to do though is to see what is helping us and what is actually making us feel worse, in order not to remain stuck.
In fact, the way to approach this is the same as usual: stop, observe, breathe, be with the silent and the void, allow yourself to feel everything and ask yourself: “what do I need? What brings me joy? What bring me lightness of being?” without looking and what others are doing or comparing yourself as not everyone is at the same stage of the process. And that’s ok!
Yes, I know, that we might not like what we are feeling: void, loneliness, and silence force us to look at our suffering, our fears, our angers, our sorrows, etc. But it’s only when we welcome these that we can heal them. We have this choice now. We can either keep sleeping in front of TV or on social media or awaken to what is and what we are deeply in our hearts and bodies, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
So how are you ? What is your choice right now ? What do you need ? Do you manage to stop and listen to yourself ? Let me know by email!
If you are not able to stop then have some fun trying out things (and it’s ok to fail !), checking in with yourself before and after.
For instance :
-Do I feel better or worse after spending two hours on the internet ?
-Do I feel better or worse after speaking with a friend on the phone?
-Do I feel better or worse after cooking something good ?
-Do I feel better or worse after crying for an hour ?
-Do I feel better or worse after meditating ?
-Do I feel better or worse after moving my body?
There is no trick in these questions. And there is no right or wrong answer. Only YOU can know what helps you.
Oh believe me I know it’s not easy. Every crisis and change require courage. And right now everything is coming to the surface more strongly. The bad news is that it can be very violent. The good news is that it is clearer and easier to recognise what needs to heal and what works for you.
At the beginning of the year, I made myself a promise : do things from a place of joy and love, or not do them at all. It sounds simple, doesn’t it ? It’s a fast way to sort out what you want to do.
Well… in fact with all our « obligations », the way our current system and society work, people’s opinion, etc., it can actually be challenging.
I’ll give you an example: since the beginning of the confinement, I’ve ben asked and told i don’t know how many times to show up more online. Except everything I’m feeling emotionally and physically is telling me NO !
I am not going to lie to you, my mind went a bit crazy… Of course I want to contribute, help, support, share my skills. But what I have been observing is that we all rushed into transferring everything we usually do online without taking a step back. And now we have 10 times more information and offers to deal with and it’s getting harder and harder to sort out.
On a personal level (and this is true for me, it might not be for you), I feel this situation is an invitation to continue the deceleration process I started over 1,5 year ago. And even if I do feel a bit guilty, I know for sure that I will not be helpful by doing 10 times more. I prefer quality. I prefer to work with one person at a time, with all my heart and attention.
I don’t have all the answers. And you know what? Nobody does ! But it’s ok ! It’s the perfect opportunity to trust yourself, and to embrace uncertainty.
And if you do feel the need to be supported in this process… You know I would be more than happy to be there for you.
To book a session you can go here
I wish you well.
Lots of love,
Thank you for showing up ; thank you for being here almost on a daily basis.
Thank you for trying to protect me. I know you are only trying to help. I know you are doing it because you love me and you want me to be happy.
I think I can say that thanks to you I know fear pretty well.
My mind keeps running in circles, telling me how dangerous everything I want is, how stupid it is to think i can even try it, that I’ll never make it, that it is not how most people do it, etc.
My body is even helping my mind and resisting everything I want so strongly I have pain in my stomach and shoulders almost everyday.
So today I wanted to thank you for everything. But mainly I wanted to show you deep gratitude for showing me so clearly how I can limit myself and make myself so small.
So thank you, really, from my heart, for making me understand the power of my thoughts. Because obviously, it is something I have created. I am the one who decided to trust you. I am the one who has let you paralyze me on my path.
Well, dear insecurities, I have news for you. Today is the day we say goodbye to each other. I know you will try to come back. I know that you will want to keep speaking to me, that you’ll keep trying to stop me, to “protect” me. Well I wanted to tell you that you don’t need to do that anymore. I am safe. I know what I want and I am going to go and get it, because life is too short to live in fear all the time. You are going to have to trust me, believe in me and let me grow. And I know in the end you will, because I know you love me and you want me to be happy.
Today is the day I choose my dreams over you. Today is the day I become bigger and brighter, because I can choose my thoughts. And my thoughts can be bright and happy.
You’ve had your time. You’ve had your space. Now it’s enough. It’s time to move on. And I say this from a place of love. I am breaking up with you because our relationship makes me unhappy. I wish you well.
Nos pensées créent notre monde… Qu’est-ce que cela veut dire ?
L’été dernier j’ai mis deux mois à prendre une décision importante parce que j’étais paralysée par la peur. Puis j’ai compris que je ne pouvais pas continuer comme ça, que la vie était bien trop courte pour vivre dans le monde que j'avais construit (ou plutôt la prison!)
Selon mes croyances, je vais chercher des preuves que j’ai raison. Par exemple, si j’ai confiance en la vie, je vais me rappeler toutes les expériences que j’ai vécues où j’ai eu raison de faire confiance. Si au contraire j’ai peur, je vais chercher toutes les preuves que j’ai bien raison d’avoir peur, dans mes expériences, mes lectures et mes fréquentations.
Rien n’est faux, tout est juste. Les deux mondes existent mais il m’appartient de choisir dans lequel il plus favorable que j’évolue.
Si je choisis de faire confiance, je vais construire un monde doux où la confiance règne, je vais attirer à moi des gens de confiance, je vais me sentir soutenu(e) et je passerai les obstacles sans grande difficulté. Si je choisis la peur, je vais vivre terrifié(e), attirer à moi des problèmes ou bien ne pas savoir gérer les obstacles.
Et vous ? Qu’est-ce qui vous fait le plus peur ? Parfois nous avons envie de changer, d’avancer, de commencer quelque chose de nouveau mais nous restons bloqués. Parfois nous entreprenons quelque chose et puis un événement externe nous plombe le moral et nous stoppe. La peur est aussi ce qui nous fait procrastiner...
Nous rentrons alors dans un cercle vicieux et nous avons de plus en plus peur, nous restons alors paralysés et nous sommes en mode de survie.
Par peur de ne pas avoir assez d’argent, nous prenons ou restons dans un emploi qui ne correspond pas à nos valeurs.
Par peur d’être seul, nous nous mettons ou restons dans une relation qui ne nous rend pas heureux.
Par peur de ne pas être d’accord, nous refusons le dialogue et rejetons l’autre.
Bref, je pourrai citer des centaines d’exemples…
La zone connue, celle du confort, est ok, peu satisfaisante, mais au moins elle ne fait pas peur.
Mais croyez-vous que la vie vaut la peine d’être vécue comme ça ? N'aimeriez-vous pas un peu plus de magie dans votre vie?
Alors que faire avec ses peurs ? Les reconnaître d’abord, puis les accueillir pleinement. Les regarder en face et s’en distancer en les rationalisant et en se questionnant. Il est important de se demander pourquoi je fais telle ou telle chose ou pourquoi je ne fais pas telle ou telle chose.
Ensuite je peux faire un choix : je peux programmer mon cerveau pour me brancher sur la confiance et sortir de la peur. Ça se travaille car au début nous avons tendance à retourner dans nos automatismes.
Posez-vous d’abord quelques questions :
Si vous appreniez que vous alliez mourir dans 6 mois, que feriez-vous du temps qui vous reste à vivre ?
Quel était votre rêve d’enfant ? Où en êtes-vous maintenant ?
Qu’est-ce qui est important pour vous ? Pourquoi cela est important ?
Our thoughts create our world…. What does it mean ?
Last summer it took me 2 months to make an important decision because I was paralyzed by fear. Then I understood that I could not go on like this, that life was way to short to choose to live in the world (or prison!) I had built for myself.
Depending on my beliefs, I am going to look for evidence that I am right. So for instance if I trust life, I will remember and focus on all the experiences I have had that show I was right to trust. On the opposite, if I am scared, I am going to look for evidence that I am right to be scared, in my life, my readings or the people I’ve met.
Nothing is wrong, everything makes sense. The two world co-exist but I can consciously decide in which one it is better for me to evolve.
If I choose to trust, I am going to build a soft world where kindness is everywhere, I will attract trustworthy people, I will feel supported and I will overcome obstacles easily. If I choose fear, I am going to feel scared, attract problems or I won’t be able to deal with obstacles.
So what about you ? What is it that scares you the most ?
Sometimes we feel like going forward, changing, starting something new but we remain stuck. Sometimes we do start something new but an external event happens and brings us down, and we stop. Fear is also what makes us procrastinate…
We therefore enter a vicious circle and we become more and more scared ; we remain paralyzed, we are in survival mode. If we are afraid to lack money, maybe we choose to stay in a job we don’t really like or that does not match our values. By fear of being lonely, we choose a relationship that does not make us happy. If we are too afraid to disagree, we refuse dialogue and reject the other person. There are so many examples…
The comfort zone -where we know everything- is not satisfying but at least it does not scare us.
But do you believe life is worth living like this ? Don't you want a bit more magic in your life?
So what can we do with our fears ?
Firstly : acknowledge them, and welcome them fully. Then look at them clearly and start creating distance by rationalizing and questioning. It is important to ask yourself why you are doing or not doing such or such thing,
Then you can make a conscious choice : you can re-program your brain to connect to trust and get away from fear. It takes time and work as usually when we start at first we tend to go back to our habits in automatic pilot.
Ask yourself the following questions :
What if you knew you only had 6 months to live, what would you do with your time ?
What was your dream when you were a kid ? Where are you with it now ?
What is really important to you ? Why is it so important ?