When are we ever going to stop feeling guilty about taking an hour to rest, sleep, do nothing or go for a walk... when really we probably need half-a-day or even a whole day.
I remember at the beginning of the pandemic I would spend 5 hours a day taking care of myself. It was great. But then I thought: "I can't do this forever. I have to work and do other things."
And yet the pandemic is still very much present. The restrictions on what we are allowed to do or not have a huge impact on our lives. And somehow I let myself convince that it was ok to do less self-care. But it is not. It is a slippery slope...the amount of mental health issues in the world is increasing every day...
When we don't take care of ourselves enough we end up broke and we can't do anything anymore. So what is the point?
We have been surfing tsunamis of emotions and energies in a very complicated worldwide situation for almost a year now. So let's be even more gentle and kind with ourselves and with others.
Personally I can feel I am more often edgy than usual. I haven't been sleeping as well as I used to before 2020. I can feel and see that stress, sorrow and anger are more present than ever in me and around me. So the amount of love and joy that I need to experience to counterbalance all of that is huge!
For instance I wasn't able to go on a retreat as I usually do once or twice a year to recharge my batteries. So yes I've decided I will give myself a break and allow my body and soul to rest, digest, process in order to create more love and more joy. And I wish you the same.
Unfortunately, we often tell ourselves that we can't. My invitation if to ask yourself if that's really true.
Also, the amount of self-care or the form it takes is very personal. Let's not compare. Somebody might need 9 hours of sleep to feel rested while somebody else might need 6. One person might feel great after an hour of Qi-gong, another will need to go for a long walk afterwards to feel recharged. Maybe for you it's running that helps, while for somebody dancing is the way to go. We are all different. So find out what works for you.
And if you hear this voice saying "there is not enough time", "I can't", "I'm fine, it will pass on its own", "I should really work", etc. Try to listen to your other voice, the loving voice of your soul...
Do you need support to learn how to increase your levels of self-care, self-love and joy? Check out my work and book a free discovery call here.
Subscribe to my newsletter here, and get a free healing meditation.
Why it's ok to feel what you feel (whatever that is) - and why I choose to share my meltdown with you
Yesterday morning I had a meltdown. I haven’t had a meltdown in a long time. I had some in the past of course, because like everyone I am human. But since the beginning of this worldwide “pandemic” situation, I actually have been feeling pretty good. I feel like I’ve been “prepared” for this. Over the last few weeks I did experience a rollercoaster of mixed emotions but I was definitely able to watch them, let them come to the surface, and process them to reflect or work on myself, grow in a way, all in good spirits. I also had time to take care of myself and do a lot of things that I enjoy: meditating, reading, gardening, forest bathing, reading. I gave myself permission to let go of pressure, and chose to work when I felt it was ok for me to do so. I had some great moments of communion with nature and of connection with the Universe, the Source, whatever you want to call it. I had some deep insights, and I also experienced some profound joy. This, in parallel with sadness, anger, fear, guilt, etc. All at the same time, and totally fine with it all. I was not only finding my own journey really interesting but also the journey of the collective and everyone I hold space for in these times.
And I am not sure what happened yesterday exactly and I can only describe it and understand it from my reality but I clearly felt that my soul wanted me to go through this meltdown, to remind me what it is like, and that to remind me that this also would pass. I am glad I did experience it, even if it was painful: the puffy eyes from not being able to stop crying, the headache from dehydration, the exhaustion from the need for the body to recover, the desire to numb myself from those feelings.
Until Monday I had been very good at setting proper boundaries regarding the use of my time: limiting my time on the internet, choosing when I wanted to connect with friends, and looking carefully when I was happy and ready to work with a client. On Monday, though, I kind of lost myself in the news and social media. And the more I read and watched, the more I felt I wanted to go all the way in, like something was pulling me. I did go in step by step, consciously observing what I was feeling was I was doing it. Being aware did not, however, prevent me from taking it “too” far and getting triggered. So at the end of the day when I went to bed I felt very angry and sad (not scared for some reason). I got up yesterday morning with a knot in my belly, a pressure in my liver both in the front and in the back. After 10 minutes of meditation I started crying my heart out. And it felt strange, it was both a great sense of release, and yet it was so painful.
Because I have experienced this before, I know how to take care of myself, to listen to my needs, to process, to let it be and pass in its own time, to appreciate what I can learn, etc.
But that is not the point of this article. My point is this: I work in the field of holding space for other people, my job is to make them feel safe, in a place where all emotions and all parts of themselves are welcome. And I want to say this, because as therapists we are often taught not to share our own vulnerability with others. I say F*** this. I have never applied this rule because I do feel the opposite is more powerful. To remind yourself and others that we are all human beings. And that nobody should be a on a pedestal where “enlightenment” and “awakening” looks like everything is fine all the time. Because it is NOT and that would set an unrealistic and impossible goal to achieve.
This is true not only for my profession, but also for all the doctors, nurses and helpers out there. It is true for, the police, the firefighters, the security guards, dance teachers, yoga teachers, meditation teachers and all the other “gurus” (in the teacher sense) out there; it is also true for your parents, the friends you admire and think are strong. This is true for everyone!
And more to the point, just because you have up and downs, and you allow your meltdowns to exist and to be seen, does not mean that you can’t be there for somebody else. I can still be there for my friends. I can still work with my clients. And that is because I know how, when and who to turn to when I need support. And everyone should also have that: a friend, a community, a professional, a book, a tool. Etc. But if we keep denying ourselves the right to be vulnerable, we deny ourselves the right to be human, and that is what we all are. Even more so now.
And please, let’s stop telling people how they should feel. Let’s stop telling people they should not complain. Let’s stop telling people they should be happy they have a roof over their head. Let’s stop comparing. Let’s stop making people feel guilty. Everyone is on a journey here. Some might feel happy, grateful and calm; others might feel angry, scared and sad. Some might feel all of these, at the same time, or at different moments. Some might feel nothing. Some might feel it strongly. Some might feel it gently. Some might enjoy this moment to take care of themselves. Some might feel they have to do more. Some might want to do nothing. Some might want to talk, some might want to stay silent. Some might feel deeply some old wounds coming back to the surface. Some might feel a big opening...Some might already be very resilient, some might not.
We don’t heal by judging our emotions, and we don’t help anyone by telling them how they should or should not feel. Only they can know how they feel. We need to try and meet one other where we are, being aware that even if we wish we were in the same place, we might not be, and that’s ok. We might feel strong in some moments and vulnerable in others, and really that's ok.
My hotline is free and open to all in case you do need to talk and be held in safe space: https://calendly.com/laughingbutterfly/hotline-laughing-butterfly
Hello there !
How are you doing ?
I hesitated for quite a while before sending an email about the current situation… because I personally feel overwhelmed by the amount of information (and fake news !) which we are all receiving at the moment. But in the end, here it is ! You obviously can decide whether or not you want to read it.
What I have seen so far is that some people are actually feeling quite fine with what is happening worldwide, others are going through a mix of emotions, and others have entered into a rollercoaster of anxiety, panic, sadness etc, and don’t seem to be able to get out of it.
Let’s be clear. In my opinion, some people have been preparing for this for a few months, even a few years already. Of course they didn’t know exactly what was going to happen, but they have done some work on themselves, they know themselves, their wounds, their weaknesses and their strengths. It does not mean that they are not surfing the waves of emotions but maybe they are able to welcome them and trust the experience.
For others, it might be quite a shock! Like for every accident, serious illness, loss, crisis, burnout, etc. they don’t know how to deal with it, react, behave, and handle what’s happening.
What I would like to tell you is this : it’s not the end, for anyone. Every crisis is an invitation to “transform”… it doesn’t need to be some radical or amazing change, it can be a small realisation, a small step, some help to make a decision, etc.
This crisis is a collective one, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t make choices individually. Yes we are limited in terms of physical space but not with our mind, body and energy !
We always have a choice, even when we are not conscious of it. We can choose to keep ourselves busy, to play the victim, to have fun, to learn, to stop, to enjoy, to process, to become very creative, to panic, to cry, to laugh, to sing, not to do anything, to think, to be inspired and inspiring, to get frustrated, to scream, to look at ourselves and the world, to listen, to question ourselves, to be hopeful, to be ok with not knowing, to become more conscious, to wish for the best, to imagine the worst, etc.
We are allowed and it’s totally okay to go through these different phases… What we need to do though is to see what is helping us and what is actually making us feel worse, in order not to remain stuck.
In fact, the way to approach this is the same as usual: stop, observe, breathe, be with the silent and the void, allow yourself to feel everything and ask yourself: “what do I need? What brings me joy? What bring me lightness of being?” without looking and what others are doing or comparing yourself as not everyone is at the same stage of the process. And that’s ok!
Yes, I know, that we might not like what we are feeling: void, loneliness, and silence force us to look at our suffering, our fears, our angers, our sorrows, etc. But it’s only when we welcome these that we can heal them. We have this choice now. We can either keep sleeping in front of TV or on social media or awaken to what is and what we are deeply in our hearts and bodies, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
So how are you ? What is your choice right now ? What do you need ? Do you manage to stop and listen to yourself ? Let me know by email!
If you are not able to stop then have some fun trying out things (and it’s ok to fail !), checking in with yourself before and after.
For instance :
-Do I feel better or worse after spending two hours on the internet ?
-Do I feel better or worse after speaking with a friend on the phone?
-Do I feel better or worse after cooking something good ?
-Do I feel better or worse after crying for an hour ?
-Do I feel better or worse after meditating ?
-Do I feel better or worse after moving my body?
There is no trick in these questions. And there is no right or wrong answer. Only YOU can know what helps you.
Oh believe me I know it’s not easy. Every crisis and change require courage. And right now everything is coming to the surface more strongly. The bad news is that it can be very violent. The good news is that it is clearer and easier to recognise what needs to heal and what works for you.
At the beginning of the year, I made myself a promise : do things from a place of joy and love, or not do them at all. It sounds simple, doesn’t it ? It’s a fast way to sort out what you want to do.
Well… in fact with all our « obligations », the way our current system and society work, people’s opinion, etc., it can actually be challenging.
I’ll give you an example: since the beginning of the confinement, I’ve ben asked and told i don’t know how many times to show up more online. Except everything I’m feeling emotionally and physically is telling me NO !
I am not going to lie to you, my mind went a bit crazy… Of course I want to contribute, help, support, share my skills. But what I have been observing is that we all rushed into transferring everything we usually do online without taking a step back. And now we have 10 times more information and offers to deal with and it’s getting harder and harder to sort out.
On a personal level (and this is true for me, it might not be for you), I feel this situation is an invitation to continue the deceleration process I started over 1,5 year ago. And even if I do feel a bit guilty, I know for sure that I will not be helpful by doing 10 times more. I prefer quality. I prefer to work with one person at a time, with all my heart and attention.
I don’t have all the answers. And you know what? Nobody does ! But it’s ok ! It’s the perfect opportunity to trust yourself, and to embrace uncertainty.
And if you do feel the need to be supported in this process… You know I would be more than happy to be there for you.
To book a session you can go here
I wish you well.
Lots of love,
The weather has been very strange this year, with big changes in temperatures. There is no doubt that it takes its toll on the physical body, which needs to adjust, and on our capacity to deal with emotions, changes, fears, etc.
Connecting to the energy shift
In the Western world, Spring officially starts on March 20, but in Chinese medicine, it has already started. In Chinese medicine they actually have 5 seasons, and they rely on the “energetical” aspect of the elements, meaning for us exactly the same as for nature, the potential of blooming and opening up happens energetically weeks before materialising.
Springtime is therefore an important period of the year to pay attention to your health, take care of yourself in order to transition gently.
Resting and sleeping
Often when Spring arrives, we experience a change of mood. More sun means more time outside for a lot of people, a sense of renewal, new cycle, hope and joy. That is wonderful, of course. However, we might feel overtired and even though it can be surprising, it’s actually completely normal. For some reason it seems easier or maybe less taboo to accept to rest when we transition from Summer to Fall or from Fall to Winter, and yet we should also learn to rest when Spring arrives, and not put ourselves at higher risks of getting sick because we feel we “must” feel good now that the sun is out.
We tend to sleep more in winter as days are shorter; now that the days are becoming longer and longer, even though it’s a nice feeling, it’s important not to fall into the trap of thinking we need less sleep. We need to keep a good sleeping hygiene, meaning making sure to sleep well and sleep for long enough. Maybe even allow ourselves to go to bed a bit earlier than what we are used to, just by trusting our natural cycles without fighting too much.
When Springs arrives, we also want to go outside more, enjoy the sun, have a drink afterwork on a terrace, etc. That’s great, but as we are just coming back from winter, all our resources can be empty from “surviving” winter. Our immune system and Vitamin D levels might be quite low. We have slowed down a bit and we need to come back out of hibernation slowly and carefully, taking our time, just like Nature, again trusting our body and the signs.
Accepting, trusting your body, and learning to surrender rather than fight
So just like any difficult emotions, loss, changes, the key to transition smoothly is acceptance. Letting go of “should, must, have to” and listening to your physical sensations. I am not for any dogma or extreme and I also believe everyone is different. We all need to eat healthy and move our body for instance but what works for me, might not work for you. So I really want to encourage you to become your best friend, try things, think for yourself, feel what is right for you. Spring is a good time to check in on your liver though, and do a detox, again whichever one feels right to you.
Spring is when we are invited to go more outward, but again, it’s for you to find out what works, how much social time you want and need, in comparison to how much alone time you want.
Finally I’d like to invite you to watch your thoughts and the words you use. I often hear people saying life is a battle, or they need to control their emotions, tame their thoughts, etc. When we listen, stop, surrender, life flows. When we fight our true desires and needs, we deny our body and soul their potential to develop, grow and be happy. When the body gets sick, it’s often because it’s trying to show us a different path. When you can’t sleep, it means your soul is inviting you to rethink your way of life. Etc.
If you need support with all of this, please get some. Getting support is not a sign of weakness, it actually means you are brave, you want to change and I would be happy to help you with whatever you need.
Contact me to chat and check out my website. I have different options available for you, that we can tailored to your needs and your schedule.
I wish you a great Spring!
I felt misunderstood for a long time. Sometimes I still feel like an alien…
I think I was having a hard time understanding and accepting myself.
« Know thyself » : the first time I heard about this phrase was when I started learning about Socrates in my philosophy class in high school. I was 17 years-old. My understanding of that sentence then is far from the understanding I have of it now. And I would never have imagined that getting to know myself would take so long.
I am still getting to know myself; everyday I find out some new things about myself, some beliefs, some fears, etc. The more I dig in, though, the more I can understand and the more I can accept. The more I can accept myself, the more I can show up as I am in front of other people. The more I do that, the more I feel understood, and the better I feel. I feel I belong. I feel I have purpose. I feel joy.
So many of us feel like nobody understands us, especially when we are having a rough time. We can get overwhelmed by our emotions. We feel isolated. We feel we are the only person in the world going through whatever we are going through. I have been there. I see many patients who feel this way. Suffering becomes unbearable. But often it’s because we cannot put words on what we are going through that we feel even more misunderstood. We stop communicating. We want to be left alone and curl up in a corner, maybe we even want to die. But by doing that, we then feel even lonelier and we would like somebody to come and rescue us, take us out of the misery. But nobody is coming. And even if somebody did, we are not sure they will understand us.
So we go around in circle… To break this circle, dig in. Get in touch with your pain, your suffering, acknowledge it in your body. Let it breathe and go everywhere inside you. Accept it fully. Be with it. Stay with it for a while. Truly. Stop rejecting it. By rejecting it you are rejecting yourself. Observe it. Embrace it. Yes it’s hard. Yes it sucks! But you know it’s temporary. Listen carefully and do what your body needs to do. It will start passing and changing only if you stop and accept it fully.
Once you have acknowledged and accepted you can start talking about it. It can be with your friends, with your therapist, with strangers, with all the above. Just get it out. You will be surprised how many other people have been hiding their true suffering and also feel there is nobody else out there suffering like they are. And even if they are not suffering now, they might have in the past, and they didn’t share it with you either: it might have been cancer, depression, anything else.
Everybody is wearing a mask. Some people wear a mask all the time with everybody. Some people wear a mask only at work. Some people are trying to remove the mask a little bit more everyday. We are all scared. We are all alone. Yet when you start sharing who you really are and what you are really feeling, you are not alone anymore! Take responsibility, open the door, share your feelings. The more you do that, the more you will feel understood, and the better you will feel. You will feel you belong. You will feel you have purpose. You will feel joy.
Want some support on your path towards understanding and acceptance?? Book a session with me here or join my 21-day online challenge to fall in love with yourself here
May these next few days bring you lots of joy, light and love.
May you be able to see the miracle that you are.
May you take the time to listen to your own breath, to pay attention to the sounds around you, may it be laughter, birds singing, screams or tears, or cars honking.
May you stop to look around you and notice everything that is in movement, but also everything that is frozen.
May you use your hands and all of your body to touch, smell, and taste all the little things with awareness.
May you welcome all your emotions, even if they are painful and confusing, because it means you are alive.
May you be able to put a smile on your face, even if you are crying.
May you be able to inspire others with a song, a dance or just your vibration.
If you feel down, may you be able to do what’s right for you, whether it is to stay alone or reach out.
May these next few days bring you lots of joy, light and love.
May you be able to see the miracle that you are.
I wanted to write about taking care of oneself. It’s something we hear a lot everywhere especially nowadays with self-development becoming more mainstream but it can sometimes be difficult to implement all the good advice we hear. Often we also might skip steps or try something only once without actually turning it into a habit, and therefore conclude it is not working, when in fact it could work, if we tried a few more times…
I have had a couple of burnouts in my life. I am still a work in progress, like every human being I think, but I am learning and in this blog I want to share a few things I have learnt over the past few years that I have found efficient. Of course there is a lot to cover on this topic so I have narrowed it down to a 3 things, which I think are really important.
To change you need to know yourself , recognise your patterns, and be willing to try something new. So for each point, try to see how it feels for you and then start doing something about it, whether it is what I suggest or another idea that you have, just try and keep at it. To change we need to repeat, not just do something once. So below I develop the following points:
1. Are you a giver or a helper? How to give yourself what you need
2. Are you always busy? How to make time for you.
3. Are you a people pleaser? How to start saying no
If you prefer to listen instead of reading, scroll down to check out my video :-)
1) Are you a giver or a helper ? Give yourself first what you need
I am a giver. I have always been, I had to learn how to receive. As a therapist, I support others on their life journey. And it brings me so much joy to see people evolve and take their life in their hands, work over their shit and become happier and healthier.
However I have often taken this too far in my life, wanted to help everyone, save everyone even, whether clients, friends, family, or even random people I would meet through networking, etc. But gradually I came to realize that firstly not everyone was asking for my help, so why offer it all the time? Once I also found myself in the posture of somebody who was being offered help when I had not asked for it and I can tell you that it made me feel very small, as if it meant I was not able to find a solution on my own and that the person had no faith in me. And I know that the person had the best intention but it made me feel like shit. So since that lesson I started watching myself each time I would spontaneously on the verge of offering my help to somebody who hadn’t asked for it. You can still ask people if they would like support, but without deciding what kind of support they need and letting them ask and tell you instead if they want to.
Secondly, since you are a giver, you must be really good at giving. So how about giving to yourself? Over the past month I have decided to change what my day looks like. I start my day by doing something for me. I am an entrepreneur so yes I can move things around, but even if you don’t have that flexibility, find what works for you.
So I give myself first. Everyday. It can be for 5 minutes, 30 minutes or 3 hours, until I feel I am full enough to actually have something to give. So it can be meditation, writing, breathing, doing yoga, going out running or cycling, dancing, etc. I dont like routine so it usually is something different everyday. And if I find that I really don’t have time, then I just take 5 minutes to schedule a moment during the day, or the week when I am going to do something for me. And that’s how I start everyday. Before talking to anyone. And I can assure you that even the simple action of planning a moment for you later on works ! So try it ! Experiment, let me know how it goes.
2) Are you always busy ? Make time for you
There is a lot of pressure in our society to be busy. But what is so cool about being busy all the time? Think about it for a minute. When you are always busy, there is no room to rest, there is no room for spontaneity, there is no room to do nothing. Yes because doing nothing is the actually cool!
I used to overfill my agenda because I was afraid of the void, afraid to be alone, afraid to have nothing to do, to be bored, etc. Well I have realized that spending time alone is very important to recharge and to rest. And think about, it if you don’t like your own company, then who will ? Learn to love yourself, you spend 24hrs a day and 7 days week with yourself. Time doing nothing is also how we allow ourselves to regenerate and then we will have so much more energy and be so much more creative. It might seem contradictory, but by actually doing nothing from time to time we achieve more. When you create void and space, things open up.
So what can you do to be less busy : for a while I literally had to schedule in my calendar « VOID » or « DO NOTHING » or « TIME FOR ME », to force myself not to book anything with anyone else. Stop giving away your time, it is your life, nobody’s else. Your time is precious. And then do it again and again. But also be kind to yourself if you don’t always manage to do it. It’s okay, try again. Everyday is a new opportunity to implement the change!
3) Are you a people pleaser ? Learn how to say no
So ask yourself this question: do you want to make everyone happy ? Are you always saying yes to please people? Do you feel responsible for people’s happiness ? well guess what : the only person’s happiness you are responsible for is YOURS ! So ask yourself why are you doing this ? Is it because you want everyone to love you for instance ? Do you think it is because you need to do it to be a good person? I used to be like that. But even if you are a super-hero, people choose their own life, you don’t have control over that. You can’t control people’s happiness. I will give you an example: let’s say you have been invited to dinner with friends and you would rather stay home. But you decide to go anyway, in order not to disappoint anyone. So you go, but you are actually not very present, and not in the mood, and as much as you can pretend, your friends can feel it. So you won’t be happy, and your friends won’t either. It’s kind of a lose-lose situation…
So try to listen to yourself more. What do you want? And if it is hard to say no, then say something like “maybe”, “ I will think about it”, “ Can I let you know later?”. And at the end of each day, check how many times you said yes when you wanted to say no. And try again the next day. Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself ! And remember, you are the most important person of your life…
Thank you for showing up ; thank you for being here almost on a daily basis.
Thank you for trying to protect me. I know you are only trying to help. I know you are doing it because you love me and you want me to be happy.
I think I can say that thanks to you I know fear pretty well.
My mind keeps running in circles, telling me how dangerous everything I want is, how stupid it is to think i can even try it, that I’ll never make it, that it is not how most people do it, etc.
My body is even helping my mind and resisting everything I want so strongly I have pain in my stomach and shoulders almost everyday.
So today I wanted to thank you for everything. But mainly I wanted to show you deep gratitude for showing me so clearly how I can limit myself and make myself so small.
So thank you, really, from my heart, for making me understand the power of my thoughts. Because obviously, it is something I have created. I am the one who decided to trust you. I am the one who has let you paralyze me on my path.
Well, dear insecurities, I have news for you. Today is the day we say goodbye to each other. I know you will try to come back. I know that you will want to keep speaking to me, that you’ll keep trying to stop me, to “protect” me. Well I wanted to tell you that you don’t need to do that anymore. I am safe. I know what I want and I am going to go and get it, because life is too short to live in fear all the time. You are going to have to trust me, believe in me and let me grow. And I know in the end you will, because I know you love me and you want me to be happy.
Today is the day I choose my dreams over you. Today is the day I become bigger and brighter, because I can choose my thoughts. And my thoughts can be bright and happy.
You’ve had your time. You’ve had your space. Now it’s enough. It’s time to move on. And I say this from a place of love. I am breaking up with you because our relationship makes me unhappy. I wish you well.
Sometimes it is okay to go backwards and make the same mistake. It is okay because even though it is the same mistake you are not the same person and your take on it will be different.
As long as you are willing to learn and you take something from it is okay to try again and again and to slip again and again.
Yes sometimes I also feel tired of trying and not getting where I want. Yes, sometimes I feel desperate.
I have done so much work on myself and still I am not quite where I want to be.
Yes sometimes I want to give up.
But then there is a bit of light and this voice that says: “You are okay. It is okay, you are getting closer. You are almost there. You are learning. It is coming. And what you are going to get is so much better than whatever you can even imagine. We are just making sure you are ready to receive it all!”
So let me tell you what happened to me. Or rather what I let happen to me.
This year I have made it a priority to really love myself more, to be my own priority and to find real love.
Romantic relationships have always been a challenge for me. Sometimes I really think I am just not meant to be in one. But I deeply long for this complicity, partnership, intimacy.
In the past years, I have also come to understand that self-love is the basis for all emotional healing. I truly believe that accepting and loving ourselves, for real I the key to heal anything. And of course, it will be the key to find a great relationship too.
I have been working on myself for 12 years now, using all kind of tools, working on all levels of my being. And yes for sure I love and accept myself more now than when I was 18 or 27 or even more than 6 months ago.
But no I am not quite there yet. Let's be honest for a minute. Who is? Maybe it takes a lifetime? I am still judging and criticizing myself. I am still not treating myself like I would treat my best friend.
Yet I do know and I do feel that love is the answer.
I also know that I want real love in my life. From somebody else. But if I can't love myself fully how can somebody else?
A few years back I became aware of this pattern I had to basically start dating any guy who likes me. Because I had such low-self esteem, being liked was WOW! And even if I didn't like a guy very much I would go out with him and pretend I did. Just to be loved…
Except of course that didn't work. Because I I wasn’t me and I wasn’t authentic.
So I worked hard on this pattern. And finally I thought I was done with doing this, after experiencing different kinds of relationships. It got better. It was still hard for other reasons but that’s not my point here.
I really thought I was finally over this pattern of dating somebody I was not really into, of lying to myself.
Then a guy showed up into my life. He was nice and generous, easy-going, and funny. I was feeling lonely. I was feeling sad. I wanted affection. I wanted to be touched. I wanted somebody in my life. I was happy he was into me. I was flattered. And I went back into my old pattern. I screwed up big time. I tried to make him aware that we didn't know each other that we should not rush things. And of course he has his part to play in this failed experiment but that is his path and here I am talking about mine.
So yes I did the same thing again. I made this mistake again.
But guess what! The difference is this time I was totally aware I was doing it while I was doing it. I tried to do little things here and there to change directions as we were moving forward. But it was not enough.
Because once again I was not able to speak up, to speak clearly enough, to speak loud enough. Once again I was not able to be me.
What I was able to do though, was to stop everything quickly enough before there was too much damage.
Yes I am hurt. I am sad. I feel like shit. I am disappointed.
But I choose to see the difference between who I am now and who I was when I was not aware of this pattern.
I choose to see I am not the same person. I also choose to feel compassion for myself, to be kind, to see that I have done my best.
I choose to accept my mistake, to learn from it and to try again, with this new lesson inside me.
And I choose to keep hope and faith.
Wanna learn how to become aware of your patterns and change them? Contact me
We are all made of energy. Your emotions, your thoughts are all energy. If you start paying attention to how you are feeling, you can notice how you feel whenever you enter place, or when you meet somebody. Do you feel better or worse ? It is that simple.
How you feel is of course linked to what you are experiencing in life, who you are and what you have lived before. But it is also connected to the energy of the place, the people or the elements that are present around you. If you are highly sensitive, you can even feel the energy of the city you live in, or even the world ; maybe you can also feel the vibrations of the Earth, the Moon or of the planets.
You vibrate at a certain frequency. The better you feel, the healthier you are, the higher the frequency. And others can also feel your vibration. In a state of homeostasis (balance) your vital energy (also called ki, prana or chi) flows easily and naturally. When you are stressed out, or if you have bad nutrition, a negative thought, an emotional shock, etc. your energetic system will start being unbalanced.
If whatever is shaking you off balance happens only once in a while, it is still good to rebalance your whole system by taking care of yourself (various options exist of course, and amongst them energy therapies)
If you are always stressed out or anxious, have experienced trauma or if you are highly sensitive, your system is probably very often off balanced. When your ki gets stuck, it creates excess of energy in some areas and voids in others, which
means your physical body can be impacted (pain, tension, disease, breathing isssues, etc.) Your mental state and psychological health can also be affected. Everything is connected.
Energy therapy helps removing blockages from the past and the present, filling in the voids and help re-activating your self-healing power.
We are all connected energetically. It is also possible you have caught energy from other people, that does not belong to you. It is important to get cleansed.
Face-to face or remotely, I connect to your energy to cleanse and balance it. Remotely i have the opportunity to connect directly to your energy field without being in contact with the physical body , which makes the frequency of the treatment higher and stronger ; the work will therefore be faster and deeper, working throughout dimensions and without limits from space and time.
Wanna try ? To book an appointment, you can use this link here or call me at +41 79 128 32 62. I will call you via Skype, Zoom or What's app (whatever is easiest for you) at the beginning of the session.
You just need to be a in a quiet and comfortable place, where you wont be disturbed, and make sure to have some water nearby.