Sometimes you need to take a step away from your daily life to look at it from a distance. I was away from Geneva for a month and it reminded me of how much I like traveling and experiencing different settings and feeling the vibrations from different places.
When I left I was feeling a real need to take a step back and reflect on my life. 2017 has been truly amazing for me so far but it has also been quite intense and fast-paced.
First of all I want to make sure you understand that I didn’t’ use to like myself very much, I even used to hate myself; I had very low self-esteem and I was sad and angry most of the time. This was about 10 years ago. I am saying this in order to clarify that by writing the following I am not trying to brag or give anyone a lesson; rather, I hope that by sharing my life experience it can maybe help some people understand that changing is possible and that anyone can do it; anyone can learn to embrace and love themselves. If I was able to do so, you can do it too!
As you may know I work a lot with vision boards. One of my goals for 2017 was to start a project with refugees and asylum seekers, around community and the celebration of diversity; I feel deeply lucky to live in Geneva - where people from all over the world can meet - and I feel it is important to share our skills and learn from one another, whatever country you come from and whatever your legal status is. We are all rich from our life experience and we must share it!
In the end the project I had visualized turned into a big event in Geneva (The Refugee Cultural Festival) that I co-led. It was wonderful, I was driven by a force bigger than me and we made it happen. Before leaving Geneva I hadn’t had time to realize fully what we had achieved as a community; and I also felt the need to reflect on the next steps as the outcomes were quite positive and there are many opportunities to continue in different directions.
It makes me very happy, although for a while it was also quite overwhelming.
In any case, it got me thinking about my relationship to the concept of “diversity”. Some people don’t care at all about diversity. They are (or seem to be) happy with their routine and doing the same things over and over again.
I have never liked routine. I get bored really quickly when doing the same things over and over again. I also always need to learn something new. And one way to learn is to meet people and talk and listen to them. Traveling the world is one way of doing it, meeting people from different cultures and ages where you live is another one. I like challenging and questioning my views and opinions. There are many different ways to learn but you can also learn from every human being; people have so many things to teach you if you take the time to ask questions and listen, with true interest.
During my stay in Portugal, I co-led a retreat on purpose and dreams, called « Create the Life you Want ». It obviously helped me to reflect on my own life. I am pretty happy at the moment, seeing that I can achieve anything I put my mind and body into. It might sound bizarre to say that, and it took me a long time to get there, but I now know that when you believe in yourself, the universe and life work in your favor and support you and you can achieve anything. If I can do it, anyone can !
However, being able to achieve anything has a downside to it, like anything else, How do you decide what you do? I usually tell people to follow their heart and what brings them most joy. And I truly believe it. However, what do you do when a lot of things bring you joy?
I have always wondered about my role in the world. I have always had a hard time finding my place. As a kid I felt like an outsider already. I felt like the alien in the family, the one that had to adapt to others. I was the only girl in the middle of two brothers and I would find it really hard to connect to any member of my family. I was trying hard to adapt to their way of thinking or doing things to fit in and to relate, and to be fully honest, mainly to feel loved. But it in the end it didn’t really work. And then for a long time I have wondered (and I was really scared of not having the answer) what I would do, who I could be, what I should study. How to choose a career path? Did I want to be a married woman and a mother too?
Well guess what. Today I still don’t have an answer to these questions but I feel okay about it. I don’t get panic attacks anymore about not knowing. I am okay with uncertainty and I trust life; I trust myself to get back on my feet, no matter what happens. I have done many things, I have struggled a lot, I have had big ups and big downs, I have worked really hard to get to know myself, and I have learnt to truly love and embrace who I am. And today I am proud of who I am. I am a truly complex human being made of diversity: diversity of my path, diversity of the things I like, etc. Is that special or are a lot of people like this? I honestly have no idea and I don’t really care; stopping comparing myself to others has also really helped me feeling happier J
For a long time I had this belief that I had to change my way of being, as some people might think I was never satisfied. And it can be understood this way: never having enough, always wanting something else, different. For instance it took me a really long time to be proud of the fact that I can be very connected to energies and the invisible world and yet be grounded and rational at the same time; or that I can be an amazing therapist but also a great project manager.
Today I am overwhelmed with joy. I am truly and completely fulfilled and happy; and yet I still want more, I want to continue learning. I am a truly complex human being but I am also diverse and rich. And today I choose to embrace my own diversity and to love myself completely.
So who am I ? I am the people I meet. I am the experiences I’ve been through. I am the joy and the sorrows of my path. I am the lessons I have learnt and the lessons I still have to learn.
So who are you, really? And can you embrace who you are? Let me know, I would love to hear from you!